coldcat's wit

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Makin' stuff up

I got a mass fwd e-mail joke from an occasion poster on this site. The joke is 'John Kerry's resume' listing things Republicans think the junior Senator from Massechusetts has done, most of which is untrue. But that doesn't stop this from making the rounds, because as we all saw from both side in the VP debates, you cannot let a petty thing like truth get in the way of rhetoric. Here's one of the entries.

'I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending all of the other jobs out of Country.'

Ahem. Let me say this as clearly as posible. JOHN KERRY DOES NOT OWN A KETCHUP COMPANY!!!! For proof just look at the stock market page of any paper and you will see Heinz listed as a publically traded and publically owned company. Of course some folks must be confused by the fact that in the stock market page shorthand Heinz is listed as 'Heinz.' Some people see Sen. Kerry's wife's name and draw their own misguided conclusions. She doesn't own the company either. She once married the grandson of a guy who did.

Plus there may be a perfectly good reason for Heinz to own plants overseas. THEY MAKE FOOD!! I don't know if you've noticed this, but food has this tendancy to not be quite so edible after a while. If you lived in central Asia would you want to eat food prepared in Pittsburgh?

Of course I've seen the same statement made in the local piece of crap weekly paper, but I expect idiocy there.

comments (1) 10-22-2004

The People's Comments:

Three things
One: The e-mail is a joke, Eric... you still know what that is, I mean you are a Kerry backer :)
Two: Look at that bottle, you'll see a Mexico lable on it, not USA. So you might want to restate your last point.
Three: Your home town rag sucks, you want to bitch about it, do something about it.

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