coldcat's wit

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Screw first class

So my friends, it seems there is a better way to travel than flying first class. It's called flying with a National Football League team. First of all you meet the team bus at the stadium, everyone loads up their gear, suitcases, etc and it's off to the airport. At the airport, you aren't going to the main terminal, oh no, you're heading to a small hanger off to the side. There's still a metal detector, but you don't have to take your shoes off unless you want to, and the whole process takes only a few minutes. Then it's off to the plane, where an attendant is waiting next to the stairs with boxes of Popeye's chicken. This is what you get to eat while waiting for the plane to take off. Once in the air, the flight attendants come around with more food, no 3 oz bag of peanuts either, your choice of quesadilla or a Cuban sandwich. Before you even finish that, they come around again with ice cream sandwiches for desert, then bags of potato chips and pretzels (the 99 cent kind you get at a gas station), and a few minutes later breath mints and gum. When the plane lands they load you onto five buses for the trip to the hotel, which is made a lot quicker by the police escort. The hotel, by the way, is not some Best Western out by the freeway, it's the Mayflower Hotel in downtown DC. Nice place. Game day it's another bus ride to the stadium. . .no need to find a parking spot, pay $20 to park in some guy's front yard, then walk a mile and a half to the stadium. The bus just pulls into a tunnel on one end of the stadium and lets you out next to the visitor's locker room. We had some time to kill before kickoff and spent it eating the pre-game press meal in the pressbox. After the game it was back on the buses, and back with the police escort to the airport, where the plane was waiting for us. No need to worry about making it on time for the flight, since the plane was taking off whenever we got there. No need to go through security. No need to return the rental car. This was nice. I wouldn't even have had to spend one cent of my own money if it weren't for the Nats game I went to, and the bar on Capitol Hill we hit up afterwards, and the pitcher of beer the dumbass bartender spilled on me, requiring me to buy a new pair of shorts at the gap the next morning. That is traveling in luxury.

comments (3) 08-29-2008

The People's Comments:

Yeah, I blame myself for that. Guy hides under a rock for two years, but as soon as I start poking around, he gets arrested. Watch out, Domanick Williams nee Davis!

what's Jimmy Smith up to? funny you should ask.


I misread the title and thought it would be about joining the "mile high" club. Oh well.

So... which NFL team? Was it the Jags? Any idea what REALLY happened to Jimmy Smith?

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