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Yes, it is true, I'm getting married.

Hello !

This notice has been long in coming...

It has come to my attention that some of you out there in the www haven't found out that Sara and I are engaged.  I find this very hard to believe.

I mean, I'm Justin D. Young for god sakes !  I am known throughout the world.

I know what most of you are thinking now:  Justin, you said you'd never get married... what the hell?

While this is true I have said for 13 years that I would not get married.  Lets check off some of the reason why:

  • I think that marriage is a broken institution that needs to be abolished. It's something people just "do" because they are told it's the "right" thing to do.
  • I don't plan on having kids making marriage a tax burden.
  • It's an expensive party to throw for both myself and others.
  • I don't need the "ownership" that marriage offers.
  • I don't have to stand in front of 300 people one day of my life to tell them I love my girl.  I do that every day and even waking moment of my life.
  • When I wake up in the morning I want to know my lady is there with me for love, not that we can't afford the divorce.

I know when you look over that short list you think; yep, that's what he has always said.

True.  I also believe in everything in said list.  What I never told anyone.  And I really do mean everyone.  At about 18 I figured out that I'll probably get married. I figured out that trying to find girl that doesn't want to get married would have been something of an almost impossible feat.  It's ingrained into our society that you "have to marry."  Looking at our laws, books, movies, tv, magazines, parents, and grandparents, you'll notice one overwhelming theme: Marriage & procreation is the goal of life and anything short of that is failure.

Don't get me wrong I understand the argument. I just don't agree.  I think the point of life is about bringing joy to others more then to get married and pop out 2.5 kids.  Anyhow I digress.

What I did know for sure was that by saying I would not get married would do a few things.

  • It would relax the stress caused by the "when" question. I've seen to many good relationships killed by family and friends pressuring a couple to wed.
  • I would find girl that choose to be with me for me and not just to get married.
  • It would give me something to stir the pot up with when I had gotten bored.
  • Most of all it would aid in finding my true love (read: soul mate)

So why get married now?  Why Sara?

I'll answer that with second question with two words (and then more later): Unadulterated Love.

Ok, let me expand on that.  You know what?  No... no I will not. Those two words right there stand for exactly what Sara and I have together.  If I can only know one thing, and one thing alone, let it be my love for Sara.

Ok, why the now? I can't do that with only two words.  Forgive me.  It's not really complicated really.  I've made a few changes in my life as of late.  I bought a house that Sara and I found back in December of 2006.  I was promoted into management at work in July of 2007.  I just figured what the hell, I might as well add this to the list as well.  In those last 365 days I know the best choice I made was to ask Sara to marry me.

What? Oh, you want to know how I proposed to Sara?

I'll let you read the last page before I start from the beginning.  Sara's answer to my question of "Will you marry me?" While down on one knee? Why it was "You're are Jerk !" of course, what’d you expect a yes?.

I'd been trying to figure out what to do for awhile now.  The question really is... how do I ask Sara to be me wife and still have it be a surprise.  We've talk about getting married at that point for quite some time.  So she did know I was going to ask.

So I've been reading online some ideas to make the day special. Nothing affordable really spoke to me.  So I figured we'd just go out to some fancy-pants diner and I'd do it there.  Then I got to thinking it would be nice to have our parents join us.  So it was set.  That's what I was going to do.

However shortly after I had made that decision.  I found out that Sara's family was going to go to Hawaii and I was being invited. Hmm... a romantic walk on a beach while hearing the waves lap at the shore while watching the sunset?  Now that's an idea I could get behind. The only problem would be that it would move my proposal out a year and then logically the wedding another year after that as well.  So after talking to my folks about the fact that I would be popping the question with Sara on that trip and then talking to Sara's father the ability to pay for a trip to Hawaii, a wedding, and a honeymoon pretty much back to back to back that I wasn't going to be able to do that.

I told Sara's father about the original idea about the diner and he suggested that if I did decide to do that, that he'd even pick up the check.  Well that sealed it, because if I know anything, it's I like anything that's free.  So the dinner was back on.

So now when can we do this thing?  To set the stage I should mention that I've told Sara by this point that we'd still have about a year or two before I'd be asking.  I had also mentioned that I wanted a relatively short engagement and that means she should really start planning or at least seriously think about what she wanted.

Anyhow, I had been trying to find some time to buy a ring for some time.  I found the perfect time to take a day off without Sara asking a lot of questions.  That day was the day after we got back from our Friend Jody's wedding.

Knowing that I'm pretty quick with a purchase I figured I'd surly find the ring that day (which of course I did.) I made plans to have diner (under the guise of holiday planning) for us and our parents at Sara's favorite restaurant; Italian Gardens, on October 18th the Thursday before Sweetest Day.

I had let Sara know I we were not going to "do" Sweetest Day this year.  We were going to have Sweetest Week.  And that she would get a gift everyday, starting the Monday before.

I stopped at a local flower shop near where I work to order some flowers.  To be more specific, I ordered 1 white rose, 3 yellow roses, 6 red roses, and 12 mixed roses(of those same colors.) These were to be my week long gifts to Sara. The white for Monday, yellow for Tuesday, red for Wednesday, and the mixed for the dinner on Thursday.

Why the colors you ask?

They all carry their own distinct meanings:

  • White: Purity, Innocence, Secrecy, Humility, Youthfulness 
         In other words, when we first met
  • Yellow: Joy, Gladness, Friendship, Delight, Promise of a new beginning
         In other words, the friendship that grew over the first few years
  • Red: Love, Beauty, Passion
         In other words, what we share today.
  • Mixed: Unity, all inclusive
         In other words exactly what we need to remember to keep our marriage strong.

A few simple side notes, I had to make sure I saw Sara everyday, which isn't normally the case.  Sara mentioned on Monday night after watching a TV show where someone proposes, that she thought that's what I had up my sleeve for Thursday.  Without missing a beat, I told her yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do.  In fact I think that's a great idea.  Tomorrow I'll go look for the ring.  To which she replied that naa... I'd do it in a way that would involve all of both families.  To which I protested that no, I thought she had a great idea and I would ask her Thursday.  She also kept asking every day what her next gift was.  I told her on Monday if she was good, I'd bring her two... maybe even THREE more roses.  And on Tuesday night I told her that Wednesday's gift was eatable (which is a fact, she could have eaten the roses if she really wanted.)  And I told her that her gift for Thursday was to be that I'd pay for everyone's dinner.

At this moment in time I should stop and mention a few more things.  One, my mom was great, she went and picked up the ring when it was finished and brought it to me at my house.  She picked it up with two of our great family friends.  One almost passed out from the fact that I was getting married.  Two, one of my mother's best friends (who was with my mom to pick up the ring) actually didn't let this slip.  Which trust me, was very hard for her.  Three, the restaurant was great, they did exactly what I requested of them. Four the parents showed up to the restaurant on time ... early even.  They also sat where I requested them to sit.  The way we sat forced Sara to sit with her back to the kitchen. This was in my plan.

The reason Sara needed to sit with her back to the kitchen was so that she didn't see the dozen roses being carried by our waitress (who did a great job by the way.)  They even remembered to bring them to Sara on the opposite side of where I sat. Forcing Sara to turn to her right to receive them and back to her left to find me ... down on one knee hold up an open ring box.

I said, "Will you marry me?"

To which she responded, "You're a jerk !"  Then she paused, noticing what was in my hand, and said, "Yes !"

Now you must understand, I kept telling Sara all week that I was done getting her roses that week. I repeated again Wednesday that she would absolutely not be getting more roses. And then again on Thursday... there were 12 more roses.  The "You're a jerk !" remark was about the roses. It took her some time to figure out what really was going on.

So yes, I pulled of what I thought wasn't going to be possible... a surprise engagement.

Man, this was all just to tell you that I'm getting married... Boy am I long winded.

comments (3) 02-26-2008

The People's Comments:


I wanted to congratulate you and Sara properly. Doing so on a casual forum, which features a masthead that has a big, red "DRUNK" written over it seems logical. Anyway, having no experience in the true love department myself, I skimmed the Internet for some pearls of wisdom:

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."

"For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked."
— BILL COSBY (I ommited the part about Jello pudding-pops. You're welcome).

"Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash."

"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

"Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work."
— Author Unknown

And my personal favorite author...

"Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century."
— Mark Twain

Congratulations Justin and Sara. Cheers!

you're suposed to get married for unadulterated love? damn, the last three times I got hitched it was so that all my relatives would give me small kitchen appliances and towels. Thing is I need an new blender now, so I'm going to have to go through the whole rig-a-ma-roll once again.

Wow.... My only comment is this..the Hawaii bit is still up for grabs and I hope to claim it as my story some day.

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