coldcat's wit

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Doing Lines

OK, so my e-mail signature has not changed in over two years. "When dear lord, when the hell do I get to see the goddamned sailboat?" is a quote from Mallrats which perfectly fit my attitude about my then lack of employment. But life is slightly better, very slightly, and I need a new line for my sign off. Here are the nominees. . . . . "The wearer of this belt shall posess all the super powers of '70's super group Foriegner." -Aqua Teen Hunger Force "What did I see? Well that brings up an interesting phillosophical question. Is it OK to snitch to the police on the police?" -Boondocks "I am the man." -William Shakespeare "I done told you once you son of a bitch, I'm the best that ever lived." -Charlie Daniels. "Oh that's bullshit. How come everytime you throw a bottle at Charlie Daniels you get free drinks and everytime I throw something at Charlie Daniels I get arrested." "Four words Eric: Bottles aren't on fire." -Not the Fat One "My roommate went to the Rose Bowl. He could be very distraught when he gets back. For his own good, should I hide the bottle of Jim Beam he left in the fridge inside my liver?" -CW Mayher Those are the nominees thus far. Any further nominees for my new e-mail signature line and all votes will be taken until I feel like calling this thing over.

comments (3) 03-16-2006

The People's Comments:

"Man, I just got locked up on charges of possession of good looks. They say that only someone ugly can bail me out. U busy?" Scoop Jackson (Page2)

"You better not be from the Jehovah witnesses because I'm in the Jehovah witness protection program" - (Jebediah Freeman) Boondocks

"If I wanted to waste my breath, I would've give my wife mouth to mouth when she went into cardiac arrest last night" - Dr. Kelso on Scrubs

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