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Excuse me...excuse me...

So this weird thing happened to me at work this afternoon...I've been feeling a little woozy and my stomach has been hurting all day, so I finally had to go take care of some bizness...and I usually hate doing that sort of thing at work.  So anyway, without getting too specific, I go in there and procede to shit the balls off of myself.  Now after the carnage is over, another guy comes in and quickly does his thing, and on the way out he shuts the damn light off!  Even though it was on the whole time, he felt the need to shut it off. 

So now I find myself sitting on a toilet in the men's room by myself in total darkness.  If that isn't a metaphor for my life, I'm not sure what is.  So, I'm sitting there in the dark and without getting too specific, the room smells worse than Star Jones' bumhole after playing 4 quarters of basketball.  And I gotta figure out a very important question:  How do I get out of here without someone coming in and seeing me in this predicament?  I mean, that's all I need is for people that work in this building to think of me as 'the creepy guy that likes to crap in the dark.'

Well, I got lucky when the next guy that came in had to turn the light back on, and he actually left the damn thing on so I could leave with a little dignity.  Actually, without getting too specific, there wasn't much I could leave behind, what with all the shit and all.

comments (4) 05-18-2005

The People's Comments:

How many stalls are in the bathroom? and are you sure you were in the mens??

If it was as bad as you make it out to be, consider the following. 1. of course he did his bizness quickly, cause everyone loves their own baking, just not others. 2. not only would I myself do my thing quickly, I would turn the lights out on you too as punishment for letting that loose that at work, without even a mention of a 'Dude, you may not want to come in here' message when I enter. Of course also hoping you would not memorize my shoes and hunt me down afterwards.


That was a 'Shitty' Story.. get it... shitty story??

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