crashnet's wit

Black Friday Creep
Nov 20, 2012

Guys' Weekend 2012
Mar 07, 2012

Coach Young resignation (Dec 21, 2012)
Dec 22, 2011

Coach Young's Tuesday webcast (12-20-11)
Dec 20, 2011

Coach Young's Tuesday webcast (12-13-11)
Dec 13, 2011



Life With Justin at the Strip Club!

Fast forward to the end of the night.  Yes folks I actually said this to a stripper: 'I don't need props, I need a Blow Job!'

So how did we get to that point?  Let me explain....

Earlier that night...

Happy Birthday to me!

So Eric (coldcat), Rob (datdjrobp), and I went to Nathan J's in Flint for my birthday.  Eric has been wanting to go to the strip joint and Rob has been wanting to head back to NJ's ever since he made out with one of their strippers.

Seeing how it's my birthday.  And everyone knows the only thing I love more then beer is naked ladies... so off to NJ's we went...

We got their at about 9:45ish in the evening.  We got our beers (Rob: Miller Lite; Eric: Labattes; Me: Bud Lite), found a good table.  We start to BS about stuff: sports, news, and work you know the general BS.  I had an idea that we hit shift change when about 10:15 I still did not get a lapdance.  Not because I didn't want one.  But because I have yet to get asked if I wanted one.

Eric and I start discussing driving up to Saginaw to go to the Vu. Rob isn't so interested in this idea.  But he also isn't feeling well.  So after 1/2 of his beer was gone, he started to drink water.  Eric and I ofcourse are still drinking Beer.

About 10:30 finally a nice young lady comes to sit on my lap. Nice looking girl, great body.  After a while of general stripper conversation, she asks if I want a dance... I say sure.  I mean come on who am I to say no to a lady? I get two dances from her. She sits back down in my lap is and is now trying to get me to go into the VIP area.  After awhile, I thought... who am I to say no to a lady. :)

Now understand this, it costs $10 just to enter the VIP area (and it's $20 a song.)  I hand her a ten and she goes to give it to bar.  At this point, I turn to Rob and suggest that I'm going to try and get away with not paying her for my table dances (wrong of me?  Maybe.)

I figured I'd get six dances.  However somehow (read: she had a very distracting ass) I lost count of how many songs have been played. Now usually I would be worried, but I had extra money.  I thought there had to be at least eight songs played by this point.  But instead of saying we were done, I asked her how many songs have been played. The next conversation went as so: 

her: 'This next one will be number five.'
me: 'Well alright, we can stop after this next one.'
her: 'If I get six dances back her, my rent is free.'
me: 'How much is your rent here?'
her: '$35.'
me: 'Well then it is my birthday so we can do six dances.'

After what again, I figured was more then two songs, we left the VIP area, and she went up on stage to dance shortly there after.  And then the conversation at the table went something along these lines:

Rob: 'Dude, I was about to come back there.  To make sure you had enough money.'
Me: 'What? It was only six dances'
Rob: 'More like 12, wouldn't you say Eric?'
Eric: 'Dude, you were back there for a long ass time, it had to be at least 12  if not more.'
Me: 'No matter I only paid for six.'
Rob: 'Yeah, tell she comes to get your money, and be like that'll be 240'
Me: 'Dude, I always give my money to them in VIP room.  That way the 
transaction is done.  Not to mention I didn't pay for the dances out here.'
Rob: 'Really?'
Eric: 'What the fuck?'
Me: 'Hey, I told you I was going to try and not pay for them.'
Rob: 'Cheap bastard.'
Eric: 'That one is pretty hot...'
Me: 'Hey it's not my fault if she can't count'

Now to be honest here, I really didn't know I was in there that long.  And the girls really set their own prices. So if she wanted to hang out in the VIP room and dance BS with me, then so be it.  She seemed like she was having fun, and I know I was.

I know I can hear you now... Dude... alright.. you lead with: 'I don't need props, I need a Blow Job!'  Does this actually happen? Or are you fucking with us?  I want to hear about you getting your ass kicked by bouncers...

Don't fret... we'll get there soon enough...

Where was I, Ahh yes. Now the girls where coming around a lot more.  We all got some more dances.  With that said.  This one girl did a great job on the stage, but seemed to lose that talent at the table.  But she seemed like a nice girl, so I even got two dances from her.

About this time, I switched to water.  Because drunk driving is dumb... period.  I got another dance from the first girl with that awesome ass.  After a bit longer Rob hooked me up with a dance from this little cutie that just started at NJ's that night.  She used to work for Teasers.  Sweet little girl with a great taste when it comes to Rock.

While getting my second dance from her.  Our very responsive floating waitress saw that I had switched to water.  To which this conversation started up:

Waitress: 'So you switched to water too, huh.  That's very good, you don't know how many guys don't think to stop drinking.  Major props to you for thinking ahead.'
As she walked away I looked to Rob and said, 'I don't need props, I need a  (mouthed:) Blow Job!'
Rob finds this rather funny and busts up laughing.
To which the girl giving me the dance asked 'Alright you two what was so funny?'
Me: 'I said 'I don't need props, I need a Blow Job!'
Her: 'Nice and blunt...'
Rob: 'You want blunt... just wait till he gets going.'

Ha.. did you really think I would be the type of guy to go up to a stripper and actually say, 'I don't need props, I need a Blow Job!'  Come on people, I'm not that kind of asshole.  I understand the game there.  If I really wanted a BJ from a stripper, I would have went to the Men's Club or the Vu right there on Dort, not NJ's.

So that was our night in a nutshell.  I missed quite a bit of detail.  Including:

Anything I did in the VIP room, I'm telling you that girl had a great ass. :)

Rob mixing Mexican and Italian before heading out that night, so he took as many trips to the bathroom (if not more) as I had lapdances.

Rob telling a stripper it was my birthday, and I actually broke out my license to show her.  To which Rob said that I got carded for a lapdance.

Eric trying to get a dance but the girl that he wanted one from kept avoiding him.

So over all did we have a good night? .... Hell yeah we did!

comments (3) 04-13-2005

The People's Comments:

Justin...this is philly blunts. You should have had that bitch smoking your pole;-)

No balloons for your birthday? And how come you never said it was your birthday, you sneaky soulless ankle-biter?!

12 dances? I didn't know Motley Crue wrote that many songs!

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