FFF 2009-10



The Deezies Afterparty, week 2 (9-23-10)


(cue instrumental - 50 Cent, "In Da Club")

TJ:  This is the Deezies Afterparty!  Ty Jackson here, the host of the only show that takes a weekly look at the Deezies fa Sheezies.  The Deezies have made it two in a row to start the season, winning a thriller in their home opener.  Down by over 50 points at the end of the third quarter, Deezies quarterback Peyton Manning went to a no-huddle offense and opened the floodgates, leading the team to a 154-132 victory over division rival Team Swamp Balls.  This week, the Deezies continue their homestand, with the down-on-their-luck Vandenbosh Venom coming to the A-Deuce.  Will the Deezies remain undefeated?  We'll talk to Coach Deezy and get his always-unique commentary, in just a moment.


(cue instrumental)

TJ: Thank you for joining us for another edition of the Deezies Afterparty, airing in syndication across the continental U.S. on the Deezies Sportsradio Network. [fade out instrumental] I'm Ty Jackson, in the studio once again with the coach of the Deezies fa Sheezies... the world-famous C-Deezy fa Sheezy!

("applause" sound effect)

CD:  Yo, what mo' can I say?  I done tol' y'all it's the year of the Deezies, yo!

TJ:  I hear ya, Deezy!  But I gotta say, I wasn't ready!  It's one thing to lead from start to finish, but this had all the makings of a disaster.  Team Swamp Balls controlled the first 45 minutes, rolling to a 114-to-57 lead.  The defense looked lost, the offense wasn't scoring quickly enough.  Tell us about what went wrong and what turned the tide.

CD:  Yo, all due respect to my boy Peyton!  Cuz Deezy didn't realize what he had back there, ya know what I'm sayin'?  I be a meat-and-potatoes kinda coach when it come down to it and Coach Spike, he knew how to take advantage of that.  Every thang we tried to do out there, he had a counter for it, on tha real.  Yo, we wuz gettin' schooled on our own field, fo' sho'!  So Peyton, he come over to me on the sideline and he say, "Yo, lemme try a no-huddle, yo!"  Except he ain't say, "yo," cuz he ain't talk like that, ya know what I'm sayin'?  But yo, I was like, we been havin' trouble all day with the game plan, and the only way things goin' done change is to speed up the game, make it harder for 'em to make they calls and they personnel changes and ish.  So I said, "yo, Peyton, it's on you, homie!"  And homeboy showed up in a big way.  On my mama, that was bigger than when we knocked they ass out the playoffs back in 2005.

TJ:  Is there any chance that we'll see more of the no-huddle going forward?

CD:  Yo, I don't wanna go to the well too often, ya know what I'm sayin'?  But yo, knowin' we can change the pace like that makes us that much more dangerous.  It's like when I added the Cap Peela to my repertory of finishing moves.  Cuz yo, I had the Four-Leaf Clover, I had the Driveby, I had East Coast, West Coast, Holla, and I had the Cap Peela, so I could hit ya from anywhere, any time, any which way but loose, yo!  Y'all thought we was good befo', we done took it to anotha level, word life!

TJ:  C-Deezy fa Sheezy, talkin' with us on the Afterparty!  We're gonna break for station I.D. and what have you, but we're gonna be right back.  This is the Deezies Afterparty on the Deezies Sportsradio Network!


(cue instrumental)

TJ:  We're back with the Deezies Afterparty.  I'm Ty Jackson. here with C-Deezy fa Sheezy... Deezy, I wanna get your comments on some things that have happened around the league, but I wanna start off with an email that we got...  Jim from Wixom wants to know what happened in Quebec and if you'll ever go back.

CD:  Yo, my lawyers done tol' Deezy that he ain't supposed to speak on that yet, but I got mad love for my fans up in the Q, on tha real.  If I'd had more time, I woulda fought that case, cuz Deezy ain't do what they say I did.  Ain't no way that Deezy do an R-Kelly on hisself, you know what I'm sayin'?  But yo, as soon as Deezy get the O-K, I'mma tell y'all what's really real, on tha real.

TJ:  I'm gonna hold you to that, Deezy!  But let's go around the league now, starting with Coach Young's most recent video...

CD:  Yo, we gotta talk about that?

TJ:  Well, Clint from Los Angeles wrote in to say, "I saw the Coach Young video yesterday and that picture he had of you.  You looked a lot smaller than you used to, especially when you look at your old wrestling videos.  Do you have the HIV or something?"

CD:  Yo, is that what he wuz goin' for?  Cuz I couldn't figure it out, yo.  As far as Deezy concerned, that's just that dead cat bounce I wuz talkin' 'bout.  He got that big win over anotha Tin Division team and now he think he can start wearin' big boy pants again, but he still awkward like Christina Aguilera wearin' makeup.  And after we crush his team in two weeks, Deezy ain't even gonna acknowledge him no mo'.

TJ:  Well, alright.  Stayin' Platinum, that big announcement that the mysterio monkeys had planned fell apart in a big way...

CD:  (interrupting)  You gotta be kiddin' me, right?  Yo, first off, prayers and hollas out to that kid's family, on tha real.  Deezy know what it be like to lose somebody unexpectedly... my boy Air, Travis' cousin Chris, not to mention some of tha boys from back when Deezy was in the squared circle.  Yo, R.I.P.  That said, who you think this be?  When Kobe put up 60 on the Celtics, you don't ask him about the Nets!  When the Penguins and Red Wings are in the Stanley Cup, you ain't ask nobody who takin' over the Kings, yo!  This is the DEEZIES AFTERPARTY!  We ain't got time to talk about teams that ain't never done nothin' and ain't never gonna do nothin', yo!  I ain't care if they done dug up Pacman Jones from his job at Wal-Mart and put 'im on the sideline.  Word life!

TJ:  Fair enough.  Then let's get real:  The Tom Wopat Fan Club's new consultant, Don Rayne, said this afternoon that the Deezies don't give up Dallas Clark, he's going to let the cat out of the bag and tell everyone where you were during the year-and-a-half that you were missing.

CD:  What?  Yo, what he know?  I ain't know no Don Rayne.  I ain't never seen him before in my life, on tha real! 

TJ:  So what you're saying is that you're not going to trade.

CD:  (agitated)  Hell no!  He ain't got nothin' on me!  Yo, Deezy be from the streets, yo!  The mean streets of Hikone, where quiet is kept!  And Deezy, yo, he had to do some thangs that he ain't exactly proud of, but he ain't got nothin' to hide, yo!  You wanna know what Deezy done did when he was away?  You really wanna know, yo?  Cuz Deezy gonna tell you!  Deezy was... (mic cuts off abruptly)

TJ:  And we'll hear more from Deezy, but first we gotta pay the bills.  It's the Deezies Afterparty on the Deezies Sportsradio Network.


TJ:  It's time to wrap up the Afterparty once again...  C-Deezy, before we close, VandenboshVenom:  0-and-2, but you've had trouble with Coach Trenkle-led teams before.  Can the Deezies handle them?

CD:  Yo, we treatin' this like an exhibition game, on tha real.  You know how college teams be schedulin' them Division B schools to come in an' take a beatin' for a paycheck?  Yo, we ain't make the schedule, but this be that game for us, yo.  They ain't even supposed ta be in the Gold Division, but since we let Coach J-P in with his asterix, we gotta let in the guy who played the tambourine while Team Trenkle cheated they way to a trophy, yo.

TJ:  Okay!  So are you ready to hit us with another one of your signature freestyles?

CD:  Yo, I was born ready!  Let's do this!  (cue "Down And Out" instrumental)  Yo, Coach Chiquet had a lot to say before the game...

TJ:  And that's how it goes down!  For the Deezies Afterparty, this is Ty Jackson, and we'll see you next Thursday!  One love!



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