Partial transcript from "Y!SN Nightcap", aired 9/27/2008
(Partial transcript from "Y!SN Nightcap", aired 9/27/2008)
ANCHOR: ...we go now to Lamarr Saunders, who's reporting from the Deezies' headquarters in Ann Arbor.
(In the background, it appears that the reporters have set up a tent city in the DSL conference room, complete with tapped keg and ping-pong table.)
LS: Doug, we've been here at DSL Headquarters for over a week now, waiting for this head coach announcement. According to the memo we received last week, President Rizor was supposed to be here at 6-o'clock that Thursday to introduce the Deezies' new head coach. Since then, it's been tales of bad traffic, route changes, travel delays... so we're just... (sound of commotion) Wait... it looks like...
(The camera swings over to the left and zooms in on DSL PRESIDENT AND CCO CARSON L RIZOR, who apparently has just entered the room. He looks somewhat disheveled and unshaven, as if he really had been travelling over the last several days. Several reporters have shoved microphones at him, hoping to get a comment.)
CR: What the...?
(The camera zooms in closer. CR looks surprised, but the look quickly turns to one of annoyance.)
CR: What the hell are all of you people doing here? This... this isn't a campground!
REPORTER 1: We've been here waiting for you. This is supposed to be a press conference!
(CR now looks irritated)
CR: First of all, I never called a press conference. I'm not going to continue to come out each time there's a new rumor or allegation.
(several reporters shout questions all at once)
CR: Wait, wait... look, I've got nothing to say. You all need to leave NOW. The hockey draft is in a couple of hours and we can't get set up with all of this... camping in the way.
(more questions are shouted)
CR: F(censor tone) this. SECURITY! SECURITY!
(More questions are shouted as several men dressed in SWAT gear storm the room. Many tear gas canisters and flash grenades are fired, creating a very chaotic scene. The camera pans back to LS, who is struggling to keep his composure.)
LS: As you can see... (a tear gas canister hits him in the head) Ow! They hit my head!
UNIDENTIFIED MALE (probably the cameraman): Are you OK?
LS: Yes, it's OK. I'm standing...
(LS collapses. The camera also falls to the ground.)