Segment from The Dexter Kyle Show as aired 9/20/08
(Segment from The Dexter Kyle Show as aired 9/20/08 on the Yahoo! Radio Network)
DK: It's been nearly nine months since the mysterious disappearance of the former head coach of the Deezies fa Sheezies, C-Deezy fa Sheezy. While his disappearance remains unsolved, what also remains unsolved is just who will replace him on the sidelines. First, Jimmy Smith had been entrusted with the reins of duty, but he was summarily dismissed after a traffic stop led to his arrest on drunk driving and misdemeanor possession charges. Since then, the carousel has included such former Deezies greats as Stephen Davis and Dan Morgan, with no one lasting more than a week. Meanwhile, the Deezies have gotten off to their worst start ever, losing first to the Tin Indians in Chicago, then returning home and losing to Oh Well in front of the home crowd. Deezies Sports Limited President and CCO Carson L. Rizor was scheduled to appear at a press conference on Thursday to announce the next Deezies head coach, but so far has been a no-show. Joining us by phone to talk about the Deezies situation is our very own Lamarr Saunders, who is reporting on-site at DSL Headquarters. Lamarr, what's the latest?
LS (on the phone): There's still nothing new to report, Dexter. We were supposed to hear from President Rizor nearly two days ago now, according to a memo that we received from the DSL press office. Since then, we've been given a variety of promises and excuses as to why President Rizor has not made an announcement. At this time, we can't even confirm that he's in the state, let alone in the building.
DK: That is quite strange, Lamarr.
LS: It's been a strange season already for the Deezies, and the only thing more bizarre has been the behavior of President Rizor. He has yet to attend a Deezies game this season, and he has not made himself available for comment outside of these so-called press conferences.
DK: Right... we had him on the show just before the season started to talk about the team, but we haven't been able to book him for a follow-up appearance.
LS: ...and now he's not even showing up for a press conference that he scheduled. Even the Tin Indians have the decency to just issue a press release when they don't want to talk to the press.
DK: What do you think is behind this odd behavior?
LS: I really don't know, Dexter. I've been covering the Fantasy Football Fever for over five years now, and I've never seen anything like this... the coaching controversies, the owner absences, and don't forget the player in-fighting. Normally, these sorts of things happen in isolation. Look back at last year, when Coach Pool was fighting for his job... it's not like the Tom Wopat Fan Club didn't have somebody ready to go as a replacement. Or when Coach Roth never showed up for a single game... okay, that's a bad example, but my point is, as tumultuous as the C-Deezy era was, it was like a fine-tuned machine compared to the disarray that the Deezies are in now.
DK: So what comes next? I assume you're going to wait this out.
LS: This could be a big story once it develops, Dexter, so me and my camera guy Joey have been taking turns here, waiting for some sort of announcement. I wish I could show you pictures, because it looks like a regular tent city here right now. At one point on Thursday, we were told to expect President Rizor around 11pm, so when 1am rolled around and we were told to wait until the next morning, it was too late for some of these guys to book rooms, so they've been camping out. Luckily, I was assigned to cover the game in Dundee this Sunday, so I'm less than an hour away. I can't expect that there won't be an announcement before then, but nothing would surprise me at this point.
DK: Here's hoping you don't have another night of waiting ahead of you. This needs to be resolved sooner rather than later.
LS: I couldn't agree more, Dexter.
DK: That was Y!SN reporter Lamarr Saunders, reporting from the Deezies Sports Limited headquarters, where we are awaiting word of the next head coach of the Deezies fa Sheezies. Stay tuned to Y!SN for continuing coverage of this important story, and hopefully we'll have even more for you tomorrow on the FFF Weekly Report. After this break, we'll talk golf and why the a Ryder Cup tournament without Tiger Woods is good for golf, but bad for viewers. You're listening to The Dexter Kyle Show on the Yahoo! Radio Network.