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Deezies post-game press conference

(A few dozen reporters are crowded into a small room. Deezies Sports Ltd. President CARSON RIZOR enters, followed by Deezies fa Sheezies head coach C-DEEZY FA SHEEZY. CR steps up to the podium. Several reporters begin to shout questions.)

CR: Ahem. Thank you all for waiting. Before Deezy answers your questions about today's game, I would like to make a brief statement regarding what happened this past weekend, so as to clear up any misunderstanding. (reading) "While enjoying a night on the town at the Daisy Dukes Strip Joint, C-Deezy fa Sheezy was detained by Cooter County law enforcement after they noticed a non-narcotic prescription drug, which had been prescribed by C-Deezy's treating physician but labeled as being issued to the physician rather than C-Deezy for privacy purposes. I assure you, this matter was simply a classic misunderstanding. Coach Deezy is perfectly healthy and we look forward to C-Deezy remaining as our head coach through the current season and beyond." Now, if you have any questions... (several reporters shout out questions; points to reporter in front row) You, go ahead.

R1: Mr. Rizor, during the coming-out party two weeks ago, after Coach Deezy came out of the tunnel and fainted...

CR: (interrupting) Why would you - wait, wait, wait - we're going to cut that off. Why would you do that? You're here to interview us about C-Deezy, in a positive light.

R1: Well, fainting can be a sign of a more serious medical issue, and it's not a common side effect of using male enhancement products, so I'm asking if a diagnosis has been made as to why he fainted.

CR: Yeah, but I don't want to talk about that on the air.

R1: But...

CR: (continuing) Cut the cameras! Turn off the microphones! We're done here.


10-23-2006

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