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The Deezies Afterparty, 10-10-2006

OPENING TEASER

(cue instrumental - 50 Cent, "In Da Club")

TJ: This is the Deezies Afterparty! Ty Jackson here, the host of the only show that takes a weekly look at the Deezies fa Sheezies. The Deezies picked up their third win of the season by defeating the Flint Bullets... but the win was overshadowed by what happened during the halftime show. We'll try to get comments from Coach Deezy about what happened, and how it affects the team's preparation for Sunday's game against the undefeated Dundee Dolphinz, in just a moment.

FIRST SEGMENT

(cue instrumental)

TJ: Thank you for joining us for another edition of the Deezies Afterparty, airing in syndication across all 48 continental states on the Deezies Sportsradio Network. [fade out instrumental] I'm Ty Jackson, and normally I'm joined at this time by C-Deezy fa Sheezy, but we've been unable to...

(sound of a door opening)

CD: (loudly, off-mic) I'm here, yo! Give me a headset and throw on a damn beat!

TJ: C-Deezy has just joined...

CD: (now mic'd) Start the beat NOW! (cue "Made You Look" instrumental) My P.O. betta change the station...

TJ: C-Deezy fa Sheezy, obviously with a lot on his mind following the events of the past few weeks. We're going to take a short break, get settled in, and hopefully get a few more words from C-Deezy. This is the Deezies Afterparty on the Deezies Sportsradio Network. (fade in instrumental, play briefly, fade out)

SECOND SEGMENT

TJ: Welcome back to the Deezies Afterparty! My name is Ty Jackson, and C-Deezy fa Sheezy is here in the studio... Deezy, how're you feelin'?

CD: Yo, I had a lotta get off my chest, man. All these playas and coaches been talkin' out the side o' they mouth when they address me, ya know what I'm sayin'? So I had to let 'em know, I heard e'ery word and I'm puttin' all y'all on notice. Word life!

TJ: Deezy, I've got a lot of questions for you, so let's start with the one thing that everyone's been talking about, and that's the surprise "coming out" party that took place during halftime. When the MC, Chris Kanyon, announced that the party was for you, what was going through your mind?

CD: Yo, I couldn't figure out what was goin' on from the jump, yo. You had all these dudes... a whole bunch of dudes... in the stands wearin' rainbows, and I ain't think nothin' of it at first, cuz, yo, they looked like they wuz some VC Happy People throwbacks, ya know what I'm sayin'? But then I was like, damn, they ain't got THAT many fans, yo. So, at halftime, I go in the locker room, and I'm talkin' to my crew when I look over on the monitor and there's some kinda Village People thing goin' on on the field. So, I'm like, yo, somethin' ain't right. So I leave the locker room and start walkin' back out to the field, right? And as I'm comin' through the tunnel, they start playin' that one tune... you know, (singing off-key) "I'm... comin'... out...", and then Kanyon sees me, and he say to the whole crowd, e'erybody listenin' on the radio and watchin' on TV... yo, e'en my kids wuz watchin'... and he say, "there's our guest of honor, he's queer and he's here, C-Deezy fa Sheezy!" And that's when it hit me, just what was goin' on.

TJ: Now, I know we can't talk about what happened after that because of liability concerns, but you were obviously shaken up by the entire incident. What was it like, being on the sideline for the second half?

CD: Yo, I was hot! I wuz angry and confused... I couldn't see straight, I couldn't think straight... all I could think about was gettin' my hands on some men, fo sho'. If Jimmy hadn't'a been there to keep it movin', we woulda lost tha damn game.

TJ: We've got about a minute before the next break... during your freestyle, you named Carson Palmer, Rudi Johnson, and T.J. Houshmandzadeh as responsible for the halftime show. Is that true?

CD: Streets wuz talkin' and that's what they done said, yo. That's where I been at the last couple'a days, tryin' to find out just who would come into MY house and disrespect the Deez like that. So, yo, y'all bettah watch yo' back, cuz that's what I'm sayin'!

TJ: C-Deezy fa Sheezy, breaking from our usual format to talk about events from the last couple of weeks. (fade in instrumental) After this break, we'll get his thoughts on Mariucci's press conference, the failed Hasselbeck-Dayne trade, and more. This is the Deezies Afterparty on the Deezies Sportsradio Network. (fade out instrumental)

THIRD SEGMENT

(pre-recorded comments from COACH MARIUCCI)

CM: But I have a signed "confession" by one of Coach Deezy's players. I will read a bit of it now: "Coach said go out there and kill 'em. I didn't think we was serious but then he gave me a shank and said 'Take out Jurevicius. If you fail, well let's not talk about that.' At that point, after some of the stories I've heard of Coach I was scared for my life! So I did it, I went out there and broke that shank off in Jurevicius's rib cage." That right there folks, that's the kind of things that has happened to this league ever since this... this... this Clown got into this league.

(end pre-recorded coments)

TJ: That was Coach Mariucci, talking at a press conference where he accused you, C-Deezy, of ordering one of your players to stab -1 Insightful wideout Joe Jurevicius before the game two weeks ago. Let me ask you, point-blank, did you do it?

CD: What? Naw, I ain't do that, yo! He just tryin' to make up excuses for why he cain't coach. Yo, Coach Mooch, if you listenin'... go ahead and look at all that gametape, cuz I ain't got nothin' to hide! Yo, Ty, maybe he shoulda looked at some tape before the season, cuz maybe he woulda learned how to coach! Ha-ha!

TJ: Now that wasn't the only time this season that you've been accused of injuring a player off the field. I've been told that I can confirm, the raid that took place two weeks ago was indeed related to an investigation into the injury of Gas Construction running back Shaun Alexander.

CD: Yo, hold up right there! I was never accused of nothin'! All they did was axe me a few question after the show, but, yo, I wasn't a suspect and I ain't a suspect. We wuz over in Ypsilanti when all that went down.

TJ: Okay, let's talk about the Hasselbeck trade. After the way you treated him last year, it was a bit of a surprise to find out that you were willing to trade for him. Why did the deal go sour?

CD: That was all on the other league owners, yo. Even after Coach Pifke called us out, we were still gonna do the deal, but some jealous punks had'ta scuttle it. Now, Pifke said he had a problem with how the whole thing was about to go down. All I gotta say about that is what did he want? I wasn't about to fly over to Chicago, hold his hand through the whole thing, and give seven cows to his dad, yo! It was just bizness.

TJ: Let's talk about one of your players for a minute. Larry Fitzgerald, he left the game with what appeared to be an injury to his upper leg. Can you give us an update on his status?

CD: Yo, Fitz done tweaked his hammy, just like Steve did in practice. He was gonna have an MRI done today, but I ain't heard what came of that yet. We definitely gonna let him sit for a couple'a weeks ta heal up, cuz we gonna need him down the stretch.

TJ: Last question before the break... 3-and-2, how does it feel to be above .500?

CD: It's a beautiful thing, yo, but we still gotta lotta work ta do before we make the playoffs. We got some tough games comin' up, so e'erybody's gonna need to be on the same page if we gonna get to where we goin'.

TJ: C-Deezy fa Sheezy. You're listening to the Deezies Afterparty on the Deezies Sportsradio Network.... we'll be right back.

FINAL SEGMENT

TJ: It's time to wrap up the Afterparty once again... C-Deezy, before we close, you're headed to Dundee this weekend to take on the Dolphinz. Coach Townsend has his team looking at another undefeated season. The Deezies, who are usually pretty good on the road, have yet to win an away game this season. How do you approach a game like this?

CD: Yo, we do the same way we always do. We only play them once a year, so it's always somethin' special, but the bottom line is that they just another team that we gotsta play. Last I checked, we done beat them two outta three times now, so now we gonna make it three outta four.

TJ: Can I get a prediction on the final score?

CD: Yeah. It's gonna be close, but we gonna come out on top. I'm thinkin' 110-to-100 or somethin' like that.

TJ: And that's gonna do it for this week. I'm Ty Jackson. The Deezies fa Sheezies make the trip south to Dundee to face the Dolphinz, and we'll have the game here on the Deezies Sportsradio Network. And don't forget to join us here next Tuesday for another edition of the Afterparty! One love!


10-11-2006

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