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The Deezies Afterparty, 9-26-2006

OPENING TEASER

(cue instrumental - 50 Cent, "In Da Club")

TJ: This is the Deezies Afterparty! Ty Jackson here, the host of the only show that takes a weekly look at the Deezies fa Sheezies. The Deezies came up short again on Sunday... losing on the road to V!AGR_Az, 115-to-94. The offense stalled again, failing to hit the century mark despite the return of Steve Smith to the line-up. Will the trip home be the remedy for what ails the Deezies? We'll talk to Coach Deezy, in just a moment.

(fade out instrumental)

FIRST SEGMENT

(cue instrumental)

TJ: Thank you for joining us for another edition of the Deezies Afterparty, airing in syndication across the continental U.S. on the Deezies Sportsradio Network. [fade out instrumental] I'm Ty Jackson, in the studio once again with the coach of the world-famous Deezies fa Sheezies... C-Deezy fa Sheezy!

<"applause" sound effect>

CD: Yo, (censor tone) you dawg.

TJ: Deezy, this is live radio! You gotta keep it clean!

CD: Yo, (censor tone) this. I'm (censor tone) sick of (long censor tone) and players that cain't (long censor tone)... yo, I'm just under a lot of stress right now. Somethin's gotta change, and that's on tha real.

TJ: As I noted in the intro, the Deezies were held under 100 points for the first time this season. Are there any fingers that you want to point?

CD: Yeah, I'mma point. I'mma point right at me, yo. I been spendin' too much time doin' sh... I mean, crap like this, and not enough time gettin' the team ready for the game, ya know what I'm sayin'? It ain't like last year where the guys took care'a theyselves. We gotta lotta young guys who still need guidance if they gonna compete at this level, and we got some vets that haven't had the best of coaches in the past, so we gotta unlearn some bad habits, yo.

TJ: I gotta say, Deezy, I've never seen you this... for lack of a better word, defeated.

CD: Yo, we ain't never been this defeated. I'm lookin' at a 1-and-2 to start the season. We ain't never dug a hole like that this early. Yeah, there been a coupla times that we lost two, three games in a row, but never to start the season, yo. Even when we was 3-and-4 last year, we knew that we weren't never outta it, but with twelve teams tryin' to eat food for eight, we gotta scrap for scraps, ya know what I'm sayin'?

TJ: I hear ya, Deezy. But I gotta ask the question... did V!AGR_Az win, or did the Deezies lose?

CD: Yo, I cain't front. V!AGR_Az brought it on Sunday. I challenged they manhood and they responded damn good. They just might be as good as Coach Preseau thinks they are. But you know what? If they are, we gon' see 'em again in the playoffs. You can count on that.

TJ: C-Deezy, down but not out! But what about the rest of the Deezies? [fade in instrumental] After these words from our advertisers, we're gonna answer some of your questions. This is the Deezies Afterparty on the Deezies Sportsradio Network. [fade out instrumental]

SECOND SEGMENT

(pre-recorded comments from DAUNTE CULPEPPER, starting quarterback for -1 Insightful)

DC: Keith Bulluck is an excellent linebacker who runs around and makes plays... We've got to make sure that we do what we've got to do to keep them out of the game and do what we have to do to be successful.

(end pre-recorded comments)

TJ: That was -1 Insightful's quarterback Daunte Culpepper, speaking after his team's first victory of the season. Coach Deezy, you've had Culpepper on your team before, and he obviously isn't going to take the Deezies lightly.

CD: Yo, Bulluck's my man. I gotta say this, our defense is a lot better than our offense, but they cain't do all the work. Right now, we cain't run the ball. If you cain't run the ball, you cain't run the clock. And if you cain't run the clock, you cain't keep yo' defense off the field. We be losin' the possession game, and that's why we be losin' the game game.

TJ: Next week, the Deezies return home to face a team that's been very generous to them in the past... -1 Insightful, who you've beaten every time in years past. They've changed ownership and hired a new head coach, so will that change how you prepare for them?

CD: Yo, straight up, as far as I'm concerned right now, we've never played a game. Taking these teams for granted is why we ain't got no wins. On the real, I've been readin' up on Coach Mooch, tryin' to get inside his head to see what he's thinkin'. The record don't fool me, cuz they done lost to two of the top teams in the league this year, yo, and they played 'em close each time. They got Culpepper, they got Westy, and they got Antonio Gates, so they gots talent. For all I know, Mooch has finally (sound of a fire alarm) figured out... yo, you gotta be kiddin' me, dawg. Is that for real?

TJ: It's a real alarm, so we're going to have to take cover. You're listening to the Deezies Afterparty on the Deezies Sportsradio Network!
(fade in instrumental, which plays longer than usual)

FINAL SEGMENT

TJ: Deezies Afterparty, Ty Jackson here... we had a bit of an alarm a few minutes ago and had to vacate, but we've been given the all-clear, just in time for the freestyle session. C-Deezy, you ready to do this?

CD: Yo, let me adjust my headset. I got my heart racin' now, so I'm on fire, even if the station ain't, yo!

TJ: Alright! Let me cue up the instrumental... there it is.

(cue "Outta Control [remix]" instrumental)

CD: Yo, let it play for a minute... turn it up in my headphones... yo, yo, yo, C-Deezy fa Sheezy, you knows you cain't see me...

TJ: Deezy, that was rough! You okay in there?

CD: Yo, that's live radio for you right thurr, yo. That's just how we do.

TJ: Deezies Afterparty... I'm Ty Jackson. The Deezies fa Sheezies are coming home this Sunday... if you don't have your tickets, it's too late, because they're sold out. But you can always listen to the game here on the Deezies Sportsradio Network, then join us next Tuesday for the Afterparty! One love!


09-27-2006

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