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The Deezies Afterparty, 9-19-2006

OPENING TEASER

(cue instrumental - 50 Cent, "In Da Club")

TJ: This is the Deezies Afterparty! Ty Jackson here, the host of the only show that takes a weekly look at the Deezies fa Sheezies. On Sunday, the Deezies lost their first game of the season, dropping a 116-103 decision to Spartan Dominance. This week, they continue their road trip, facing Coach Preseau and the high-scoring V!AGR_Az. Will the Deezies fa Sheezies return to winning form... and will Steve Smith take the field? We'll look at the Deezies as they pick up the pieces, in just a moment.

(fade out instrumental)

FIRST SEGMENT

(cue instrumental)

TJ: Thank you for joining us for this third week of the Deezies Afterparty, airing in syndication across the continental U.S. on the Deezies Sportsradio Network. [fade out instrumental] I'm Ty Jackson, in the studio with coach C-Deezy fa Sheezy of the world-famous Deezies fa Sheezies... Holler at 'em!

<"applause" sound effect>

CD: Yo, it's the player's playa, ya know what I'm sayin'? Cee-Dee-double-E-Zee-y'all know why.

TJ: Deezy, I gotta cut to the chase here... tough loss against Spartan Dominance on Sunday... why couldn't the Deezies get it done?

CD: Yo, yo, yo, back up, yo! We HAD them, dog! We lit 'em up through the air, we pushed around they corners... yo, we outplayed them every down! If we'd'a had Steve out there, they woulda been like, "why you runnin' up the score, yo?" I'mma tell you what happened on tha real... it was the zebras, man! They was makin' some calls that were more queer than Coach Chiquet trying to find a ripe banana at the supermarket, yo!

TJ: Wait a minute, you're saying that the Deezies lost because of bad officiating?

CD: That's what I'm sayin', yo! You get Pa and Jimmy Joe Fowlerville out there in them zebra suits and they ain't gonna go against the home team. We shoulda had them beat somethin' like 320 to 52!

TJ: So you're blaming the referees for the missed field goals and the poor running?

CD: Naw, dog! You need to remember who signs your check, yo! I'm sayin' that all those calls they got, they should'na got all of 'em. They was gettin' pass interference calls that wasn't no interference, and they was gettin' touchdowns that wasn't no touchdown, yo! I'm tellin' you, dog, you get those punks in our yard, and it's gonna be a major beatdown fo' sho'!

TJ: Well, the fact remains that it's one in the loss column. What do you do as a coach to get your team back on track for the next game?

CD: Yo, we ain't gotta do much, yo! We got some of the hottest players in the league right now on wideout... I was talkin' to Jimmy on the sideline during the game and we was like, "damn, where we gonna put Steve when the time comes, yo?" On tha run, Travis had a little camel toe goin' on, so we kept him off the turf, but he gotta step up soon if he gon' stay on the team. A lotta y'all don't be knowin' this, but I tried to get Stephen Davis to come back to the team, take a coach position and work with the shorties, you know what I'm sayin'? We gotta do somethin' cuz we losin' the time battle and it's hurtin' our defense. I wish we'da had some competition that first game to find out what we can really do. It's kinda like that last year, when Hurricane Katrina blew out BigPerv and we was all like, "uh oh, what's gonna happen?" and then they tanked the rest of the way? That's what happens when you get lulled into that false sense of success, ya know what I'm sayin'?

TJ: I hear ya, Deezy! And right now, we gotta hear from some advertisers, [fade in instrumental], but we're gonna be right back. This is the Deezies Afterparty on the Deezies Sportsradio Network. [fade out instrumental]

SECOND SEGMENT

(pre-recorded comments from DERRICK FOX, sports agent for STEVE SMITH)

DF: Steve Smith would never, ever miss a practice or a game because of his contract... I have 11 FFF players that I represent... I'm in contact with the GMs of every team I have a player with doing everything I can to get them more money... Yes, I've talked to the Deezies about Steve's contract. But that's nothing more than what I always do... Look, everybody in the world wants to be paid fairly and everybody thinks they're underpaid. But Steve Smith, he'd play for a can of Coke if that's all that was there. He's that competitive.

(end pre-recorded comments)

TJ: That was Steve Smith's agent, Derrick Fox, denying reports that Smith has been exaggerating his injury in order to get a better contract deal. Coach Deezy, I know you're not involved with all of the financial details, but you've seen Steve, you know his history... how long before he's back on the field?

CD: Yo, on the real, his agent's right: Steve'd play for a can of Coke if that's all we had. You ask me, this injury is the real deal, and I don't wanna make him rush if he ain't gonna be 110%, ya know what I'm sayin'? Him and Jimmy, they been down since day one and I cain't see him playin' for no other team. And I know it cain't be the money, cuz they got my money right, yo! These chains don't lie! So all that talk about Steve bein' a diva... yo, that's just hater talk, that's all it is.

TJ: Let's talk about the next game... V!AGR_Az, they're 1-and-1, they're second in the league in total points, and that's been without their number one wideout, T.J. Houshmandzadeh... did I say that right?... Houshmandzadeh. Many of the experts are predicting that this game could become a shootout come Sunday. If it does, can the Deezies keep up?

CD: Yo, there ain't gonna be no shootout unless we shootin', ya know what I'm sayin'? I don't care who they got or don't got... they could have Carson Daly throwin' to T.J. Hooker and have Sam Jackson carryin' the rock and we still gonna shut 'em down on defense. You realize that we've only given up 179 points all year? You can't find me another team that's given up less than 200, yo!

TJ: That may be the case, but, as we saw on Sunday, the offense still needs to put points on the board to win.

CD: Yo, we gon' do that, no doubt. We got guys that can do that, and they gon' do that.

TJ: Before we go to break, Julius Peppers... cut by Spartan Dominance before the game, now he's with V!AGR_Az... are you expecting anything different from their defense with Peppers on the line?

CD: Yo, Julius is one crazy dude, no doubt. He's like a bull, goin' for the gore. So we gotta use that aggression against him.

TJ: You got a prediction for this game?

CD: Yo, I don't wanna go too far out on a limb, yo. I figure, we score 120, we hold them around 100, and that's a game.

TJ: C-Deezy fa Sheezy, talkin' with us on the Afterparty! We're gonna break for station I.D. and what have you, then Deezy's gonna hit us with another classic freestyle. You're listening to the Deezies Afterparty on the Deezies Sportsradio Network!

FINAL SEGMENT

TJ: Deezies Afterparty, Ty Jackson here... C-Deezy's in the booth, so let's get to it!

CD: (cue "One" instrumental) Yo, dog, you killin' me! I wanna hear some Tony Starks up in this piece, yo! This is the AFTERPARTY! Word life...

TJ: Another freestyle from C-Deezy fa Sheezy! I'm Ty Jackson. The Deezies fa Sheezies head down the street to Ypsilanti this Sunday to play Coach Preseau and V!AGR_Az. Catch the game, then join us here next Tuesday and hear all about it on the Afterparty! One love!


09-19-2006

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