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The Deezies Afterparty, 9-12-2006

OPENING TEASER

(cue instrumental - 50 Cent, "In Da Club")

TJ: This is the Deezies Afterparty! Ty Jackson here, the host of the only show that takes a weekly look at the Deezies fa Sheezies. On Sunday, the Deezies kicked off their season with a decisive win over the Tin Indians. This week, they hit the road to take on Spartan Dominance. Can the Deezies fa Sheezies make it two in a row? We'll look at how the Deezies did and what they can expect, in just a moment.

(fade out instrumental)

FIRST SEGMENT

(cue instrumental)

TJ: Thank you for joining us for this second week of the Deezies Afterparty, airing in syndication across the continental U.S. on the Deezies Sportsradio Network. [fade out instrumental] I'm Ty Jackson, here again with the coach of the Deezies fa Sheezies... give it up for C-Deezy fa Sheezy!

<"applause" sound effect>

CD: Yo, countin' dollaz each and every zero, y'all, fa sheezy, it's ya boy, C-Deezy, holla!

TJ: Now, Deezy, I know you've got to be proud about how your team handled itself in week one. Walk us through some of the highlights.

CD: Aw, man, where do I start? We kilt them, dog! We could be in a police line-up and it'd be like they never saw us! We did it big from top to bottom, and then stuffed some more in the sides, ya know what I'm sayin'? I thought it was Halloween the way those tricks was treatin'!

TJ: Let me ask about the news that broke just before the game, that Steve Smith had injured his other hammy and wouldn't be able to go. Obviously, Marques Colston did a bang-up job as a fill-in, but can you update us on his status for next week?

CD: Yo, Steve's a true playa fa' real, just like his brother Jimmy. Man took a bad bump during practice, but he was still like, "Coach, I wanna go." So I had to be like, "yo, Steve, we gots this." I cain't afford to lose our number one guy on some chump change. I'd rather have him miss the first game than the last one, yo! So, yo, if he's ready to go this week, he gonna be on tha field. If he cain't, Marques' gonna go. I cain't say enough about this guy... I already got y'all sayin' "Cooley who?!"

TJ: You had questions about your running game going into this contest. Have you made any decisions about who's going to carry the rock?

CD: Yo, like I said last week, we gonna platoon all five guys. I know each and every one of them wants to be "the guy," but they all want that champion gold, too! So they all understand they sit-chee-a-shun.

TJ: So what you're sayin' is that no one really stood out.

CD: Yo, I coulda had my grandma back there on Sunday and she woulda got a six, yo! All I'm sayin' is that I cain't judge nothin' yet.

TJ: Let's talk about the defense. They sacked Matt Hasslebeck five times, held the Tin Indians without a touchdown, and picked up an interception during garbage time. Did they exceed your expectations?

CD: Hey, it's like y'all cain't hear me when I shout at ya. I done told y'all that me and Ray Lewis was gonna shut the league down. With him back there, it's like I ain't even gotta call nothin', which allows me to spend more time with the offense, ya know what I'm sayin'?

TJ: I hear ya, Deezy! And right now, we gotta hear from some advertisers, [fade in instrumental], but we're gonna be right back. This is the Deezies Afterparty on the Deezies Sportsradio Network. [fade out instrumental]

SECOND SEGMENT

(pre-recorded comments from RAY LEWIS)

RL: Injuries, nothing else, are the only thing that's ever slowed me down... and right now, I feel 100 percent healthy. Nothing hurts. I'll tell you one thing, we will be very, very hard to beat this year.

(end pre-recorded comments)

TJ: That was Ray Lewis, talking to reporters after the Deezies fa Sheezies defeated the Tin Indians on Sunday, 138-to-63. It was the most lopsided victory in Deezies history... but now it's time to move on and talk about next week's opponent, Spartan Dominance. As you all know, Coach Trenkle came out of retirement last year to become the offensive coordinator for Team Trenkle, a team that defeated the Deezies three times, including in the championship game. Now he's head coach of Spartan Dominance, a team that features Peyton Manning, Hines Ward, Cadillac Williams, Julius Peppers... all top names in the FFF. Deezy, how do you prepare for a game like this?

CD: Yo, first off, I gotta kick a little history to all y'all. You gotta remember that way back when this league first started, Coach Trenkle was coach of a little team called FALCONS/LIONS, and I ain't forgot that they knocked us outta the playoffs that first year. So, yeah, we gots some beef to settle.

TJ: Your team is going from a home crowd situation to being the enemy in front of a crowd that hasn't had an FFF team in three years. What's going to be the mood inside the locker room, before you take the field?

CD: We all gon' be focused and ready to go, just like we gonna do every week this season. I'm serious about wanting to win every game this year, cuz we can do it. We got that talent, yo. And we ain't gonna take Spartan Dominance lightly just cuz they lost to that fool Coach Lightning and his crew. Yo, it's gotta be tough, flyin' out to Cali, you ain't seen what your team can do, and you gotta play some guy with a hot wife. That's just distractin', yo. The way I see it, this is like they real first game... last week don't even count.

TJ: I know you don't want to give too much away, but what's your gameplan going into Sunday?

CD: It ain't no secret, we gotta keep Peyton guessin'. We can hold they run, no problem, but if Peyton's hittin' us deep with Hines, it could get ugly. We also gotta keep our offense on the field, wear down Peppers. That's another reason for usin' a backfield rotation. Fortunately, Marques is a big dude, so we can use him as a second tight end, get some more blocks up front, yo.

TJ: Can I get you to make a prediction on the final score?

CD: Yo, it's gon' be close, especially if Steve cain't go. I'm gonna say we take 'em by ten, twenty if Steve's on the field.

TJ: You heard it here first! We're gonna take a minute to pay the bills, and then Deezy's gonna step into the booth one more time for the freestyle. You ready?

CD: Yo, I had "ready" tattooed on my mama's [beep], yo.

TJ: We'll be right back. You're listening to the Deezies Sportsradio Network.

FINAL SEGMENT

TJ: We've got just a few minutes left here on the Deezies Afterparty, but we had to save a little extra time for Deezy, because he said he had a little somethin' extra this week. He's in the booth right now... Deezy, you ready to go?

CD: Yo, I done told you already! Gimme that beat, fool! (cue "Dre Day" instrumental) Yeah! Hell yeah! We about to have a problem! A major problem! A Deezy problem! Yo...

TJ: Once again, Deezy hits it out the park! I'm Ty Jackson. The Deezies fa Sheezies hit the road to take on Spartan Dominance this Sunday in Brighton. And don't forget to join us here next Tuesday for the Afterparty! One love!


09-12-2006

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