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Deezies post-game press conference 11/1/05

(Several reporters are standing around waiting. COACH DEEZY walks in carrying a talking "50 Cent" doll. No one is paying attention to him.)

CD: Yo, let's see how this thing works. (CD pulls the doll's string and it plays a lo-fi version of "Wanksta") Yo, that ain't it. (he pulls the string again and the doll plays "Candy Shop") That ain't it either, yo! (he pulls the string and the doll plays "Disco Inferno") Word, it's got the remixes! (pulls string, doll plays "A Little Bit") Damn, why you playin' the same song, yo? (pulls the string one more time and the doll plays "In Da Club." The reporters suddenly notice CD.) Ay yo, how y'all like that? I told y'all we was gonna win! Cain't nobody handle the Smith Brothers when they on they game, yo! What y'all got?

REPORTER 1: Deezy, it's been reported that you left the stadium shortly before the end of the game against Team Trenkle and said, quote, "Expletive deleted this expletive deleted. I'm not playing with this expletive deleted. Word life." Can you comment on why you walked out?

CD: Yo, that was four weeks ago! Why you axin' now?

R1: Uh, you haven't talked to the press in over a month.

CD: Oh. Yeah. Yo, you in the blue!

REPORTER 2: Deezy, your team stands at .500 and, with the exception of the win over the Dundee Dolphins, has yet to beat a team with a winning record. In fact, just last week your team was ranked seventh in the league and in danger of missing the playoffs. How do you account for your team's inability to perform this season?

CD: Yo, we's had some injuries, but we be gettin' things back on track. Yo, that Steve Smith is hot, yo! Yeah, you in the plaid!

REPORTER 3: Deezy, your team ranks dead last in rushing touchdowns despite having several running backs. Your players have only scored five of them all season, and that includes the three they scored last week. Why have your players had so much trouble crossing the stripe on the ground?

CD: ...uh... we decided that it would be best for everyone involved to part ways with Seabass. But, yo, ain't that Rackers kid the bomb, yo?

R1: You're not answering any of our questions.

CD: Yo, I gotta catch a plane, y'all. We goin' back to Cali! Word life!

R3: Don't guys like you get shot when you go to California?

CD: Um...


11-03-2005

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