BigPerv Presser 10-25-05
*background music of Ludacris's "Pimpin' All Over The World" as Donald Trump steps up to the podium*
DT: Soon Coach Young will come out to speak to you but first I would like to say "You're Fired" haha, oh that was good fun. Now when Coach Young comes out he'll say a few words and then open it up for questions. I would like to remind each of you to try the Domino's pizza back there, and YCS was nice enough to buy each of you a copy of season one of "The Apprentice."
R1: Mr. Trump, Donnie Johnson from Tv 5, why are you here?
DT: J.D. Young and I have been good friends for years, and he called me up the other day asking of I could come and open up today's press conference. And you know, he'd pay for my time, and he'd even let me plug my show, so here I am.
DJ: Are you not worried about the appearance of backing an oh and seven team?
DT: I did a pizza commercial for God's Sake, does it look like I'm worried? Anyhow, Coach Young everybody...
*background music of Ludacris's "Move Bitch" as Coach Young steps up to the podium.*
CY: "You're fired" Speaking of that, wow, I'm sure glad I off loaded that ni-- QB of mine. I'm glad that Daunte has found a program that works for him. Two TDs, no INT's, 280 some yards, and only 5 sacks. What a game for him. On our side of the ball Drew gave up 2 INT's with just on TD, and only 136 yards.
But that's ok, he's trying to learn our system and you'll see next week, he'll come back strong. We had a good game, we just came up short again, like Coach Deezy on a date.
Questions, yes Frank?
FJ: Two Questions Coach, One, will you EVER put your pants back on?? And Two, could it be that Daunte was exacting some revenge on your perceived racism towards him?
CY: No, in doing that, I couldn't have Shellie here in the podium blowing me the way I like it now could I? And to your second point... I think Daunte just didn't fit in with the program I built here. Jane?
JJ: Sir, could it just be that Daunte couldn't get over the fact that you just saw him as a athletic moron?
CY: What? I never once said that directly. Jake?
JD: Follow up to the last two questions, but this time more direct. Church's Chicken... NewPorts...
CY: *cuts him off* Look they came to me, I didn't go to them, anyhow all I really have to day is Fuck Daunte, he didn't want to play for me because he just saw me as a sex crazed drunk who didn't have his head in the game. But as you can see *pulls away the podium reviling his manhood balls deep into Shellie's Mouth* I always have my head in the game. You try to give a press conference with a girl like this sucking your cock, and see how well you do.
Look, I admit, we are not having good year, we are oh and fucking SEVEN. We made some changes, we are now in a rebuilding phase. We will be better again next week. You can trust that as sure as I I I I *oh* am cumming.