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FFF: Deezies post-game press conference 9/19/05

(Three reporters are standing around with the sun shining and snow falling. One of the reporters is wearing a leg cast and an arm cast. COACH DEEZY walks into the frame dressed like it's 30 below, even though it's a relatively warm 35 above. He's whistling 'In Da Club' and doing a really bad job of it.)

CD: Yo! Deezy's in tha hizzouse, yo! (looks around) Damn, y'all's it? All right then, yo... yeah, Seabass was a little too tipsy today and he's probably gonna have to go back to rehab. Yeah, I don't think Jake got the job done today... the Smith Bros probably shoulda had more catches... and, yeah, of course we're gonna win out the rest of the season, starting next week with those BigPerv bee-yatches... y'all got any other questions?

REPORTER 1: Actually, I do.

CD: Damn, dog! What happened to you?

REPORTER 1: Uh, you did. Last week... don't you remember?

CD: You got the recorders on?

REPORTER 2: I've got one.

CD: Then I don't remember nothin'! So what you be askin', playa?

REPORTER 1: Well, this is the third time in a row that you've lost to Team Swamp Balls and every game they've managed to have sown up by the third quarter. Are you simply being outcoached by Coach Chiquet?

CD: Yo, dog, I gotta lot of respect for Coach Chiquet, and I cain't say that about a lot of these coaches. He, uh... (CD's lip starts to quiver) uh... I mean...

REPORTER 1: Is your lip quivering?

CD: Naw, dog!

REPORTER 1: You're about to cry again like you did after the championship last year, aren't you?

CD: Naw! I... I... (CD begins to cry uncontrollably) WAAAH!! WAAAH!! IT'S NOT FAIR!! IT'S NOT FAIR!! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

REPORTER 3: (to the other reporters) Uh, guys, this is kind of uncomfortable.

CD: (throwing a temper tantrum) WAAAHHH!!! WHY CAIN'T WE WIN TOO?! WAAAHHHH!!! (kicking and screaming) NOT FAIR!! IT'S NOT FAIR!!

(The reporters begin to leave)

CD: (hoarse from crying) I WANT MY MOMMY!! WAAAHHHH!!!


09-21-2005

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