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Don't take this personally

So I've spent the last five hours surfing personals sites...

No, really, it's not like that. See, the thing is that most of that time has been spent on one site.

Eh, I should back up here.

I'd been dating this one girl for nearly a year. I really did think she was pretty good for me, because being 'in love' can make a person oblivious to things like, oh, say, reality. I think most of my friends kept quiet because I seemed happy, even though they saw me less and less. By the way, just in case I have any friends left who might be reading this: next time, SAY SOMETHING!

Anyway, I've been happily single for about two months now, rediscovering my freedom, trying to separate what I'd actually wanted out of a relationship from what I'd actually been getting. It was probably a week or so ago that I remembered I'd signed up on a couple of personals sites back when I was in college and that now would probably be a good time to make those accounts active again. Sure, I told myself, I'm happy being single, but, just like searching for a job, it's a good idea to start looking for a good woman before I actually want one so as to not repeat my most recent experiences with either jobs or women.

My preferred site is through Spring Street Networks. They're partnered with sites such as The Onion and F**kedCompany.com, which is where I'm registered. I can't say that it's necessarily the best personals site out there, but it is one where I might spend money in the future, provided that I actually do get serious about this whole online dating thing. I can usually zip through a search there in less than an hour.

My not-so-preferred site is the MeetMe section at HotOrNot. Blame Justin for tying me into that one *and* for talking me into actually paying for it at one point. (I bought a year in December of 2002.) I remember spending hours on it in college, clicking on page after page of young women, mostly 'no' because I'm really not creepy enough to go after anyone who's young enough to date my little brother. MeetMe uses fixed age ranges: 18-24, 25-32, etc. At the time, I was looking for someone in the 22-to-28 range. Of course, everyone in the 18-24 range was either 19 or younger, and practically everyone in the 25-32 range was on the high end with children. So MeetMe wasn't very useful for me. Still, I'd spent so much time on the site that I'd gotten to the point where I could tell when the pictures were starting to cycle, scary but true. I decided to stop by again, seeing as the 25-32 range is now closer to what I'm seeking (23 to 31 years, if you really must know), so maybe I'll have a match or two there eventually, but I'm not holding my breath. I think the site works well for Justin because, well, he doesn't have a soul. But that's just my opinion.

So, let's do the math: it takes me an hour or less to go through Spring Streets, and I've only been back to MeetMe once. Where am I spending my time? I'm so glad you asked.

I decided to try a new site, True.com. Imagine my delight to discover that women on the site can email and chat for free through the end of December! Party on! They even do criminal and civil background checks so women feel more comfortable about who they might find on the site. Party harder! I signed up, took their fancy test, and proceeded to search. Sloooooowly search. I kid you not, it takes nearly forever for any page to load. I spend most of my time playing solitaire in another window, waiting for the site to pop up. (For what it's worth, I'm typing this while waiting for pages to load.)

Even so, I became a little enamored with the site. 200 possible matches can do that to a guy. I start to go through the profiles and discover the 'Are we compatible?' button. It seemed like a good idea to click on it, but what I've discovered is that those 200 possible matches are really maybe 12, because most of the time, when I click on that button, the reply is 'Whoops! We were kidding about that whole matching thing. Better luck next time, loser!' Yet I still find myself clicking and waiting, clicking and waiting.

So I've spent the last five... make that six, hours surfing personals sites. I suppose it beats what I'd intended to do tonight: write a pre-game show for my fantasy football league. There's only so many hours in the day, ya know.


comments (3) 12-05-2004

The People's Comments:

cdeezy:
Who else would I blame?

crashnet:
Next thing you know, you are going to blame me for getting you onto the yahoo personals.

crashnet:
Hold on buddy, it's not like you were the only one I got hooked on Hot or Not :)

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