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So I was watching RAW this week...

That was some episode of RAW last night! I can't tell you how much I've been looking forward to the rebirth of ECW. When Spike, CW & I made that long, expensive trip to Philly and New York last year at this time, I really thought it was to finally have a chance to say goodbye and thank you. Being in the old ECW arena for Hardcore Homecoming was awesome, and being at the Hammerstein for One Night Stand made the whole trip worth every grand.

But, now, a second One Night Stand? Restarting ECW as a separate brand? A still-unconfirmed return of ECW to Swanson and Rittner? A pre-show in Dayton?! I've been down since day one, yo! Mr. Excitement can't make the trip this time around, but Spike and I are set for the Dayton show and, every day, I faithfully check WWE.com, ECW.com, Ticketmaster, and the New Alhambra website to see if the house show has been confirmed and to find out when tickets go on sale.

Anyway, back to RAW... so I'm watching it for the first time in ages, and Heyman and Foley are having a great back-and-forth. And, then, Paul E announces the first pick from SmackDown for the new ECW...

Billy freakin' Armbarr.

I mean, yeah, so Billy and Foley have some history, so it probably popped the smart crowd to see them go at it again. And it's not like Matt Hardy isn't going to be confirmed eventually. And most of all, Billy, God bless 'em, can certainly work in a way that will fit the ECW style. The problem is that his history with Mick is strictly WWE. He's got no tie-in to ECW itself, and everyone knows that Mick's not going to become a full-time wrestler again, or even enough of a part-time wrestler to give Billy a proper foil.

So, Paul E, I say to you, and to Tommy too, and whoever else has some say in the matter: take me.

It'd be perfect. Now, I'll be the first to admit that my best years in the squared circle are well behind me. The years of bumps and bruises, plus that ankle surgery I had a couple of years ago, have all combined to slow me down. But a three-quarter speed C-Deezy is still better than half the WWE roster, and I'm still in better shape than Sandman or Balls Mahoney. Maybe not as good as Axl, because he's easily in the best shape of his life, but still pretty damn good. I've been working indies here and there to keep the ring rust off. And Paul's always been at his best when it comes to accentuating the positives and hiding the negatives.

Frankly, there are a lot of positives to bringing me on board. For one, I have more recent history with Billy, and it's history that, unlike his time with Foley, has yet to be properly resolved. I know most people remember that great angle during the Heyman era of SmackDown when Billy finally "snapped" my ankle... God, that was great booking and great heat. In fact, the only people who didn't seem to remember it were the monkey boys in creative who, after I finished PT and was cleared to return, put me on RAW where I had to work with big stiffs like CrashNet, ruining a perfect chance to rekindle a hot feud. So what if Cena was champ and they didn't want to distract from his championship by reminding people of our old tag team, Basic Thuganomics? It's not like they didn't put him on RAW anyway... a year too late and AFTER they'd canned me. If Heyman had still been booking, he wouldn't have screwed it up. If he brings me to the new ECW, he'll have a chance to play out the feud the way it should have been done in the first place.

"But what about the long-term?," I hear you ask. Well, let's face it: Terry Funk was a big part of making ECW legitimate, but he's become too old to do it again. The younger wrestlers are going to need another veteran who's not selfish about putting his body on the line to put over new talent, someone who can cut a promo when he needs to cut one and who can help others do the same, and, most importantly, someone who has cred with the smarks. That would be me. I'm a multiple WWE Cruiserweight, Tag Team, Intercontinental and Heavyweight Champion. Plus, as much as the ECW fans hate John Cena, can you imagine the pop if I cut a promo declaring the death of C-Deezy fa Sheezy, hip-hop thugster extraordinaire, and the rebirth of C-Dawg, the grittiest SOB in wrestling? I'm talking mad coin, son!

Anyway, Paul E... Dreamer... you have my number. And if you've lost it, ask RVD. He knows where to find me. I'm yours if you want me.

P.S. Of course, there was still some of the usual crap on RAW. I mean, for crying out loud, a fake Kane? It sucked when they did it with 'Taker and it ROYALLY sucked when they did it with CrashNet. (Red shirt and blue shirt? How stupid do you think the fans are?!) I tell you, Glen's a real trooper for taking all that crap they shovel onto him.


comments (2) 05-31-2006

The People's Comments:

crashnet:
Hmm... Red Shirt - Blue Shirt what is this Football?

spikechiquet:
Just to prove that I read the whole thing...I want to say...YO

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