Wopat WR plans to get kicked out of game this week
COOTER COUNTY (AP) The horrible season start for the Tom Wopat Fan Club has taken another weird turn. After losing 4 straight games and giving up an average of 140 points per week, one prominent member of the Wopat offense has apparently went the way of their coach and plans on doing something drastic, although not as pathetic as checking himself into a mental hospital.
Wide Receiver and beloved Wopat icon Brandon Marshall, who has led the Fan Club to 2 out of their very impressive 3 championships, has gone on record and said he was planning on getting kicked out of this week's game against Radioactive Man. "I think the past five games have been tough for me, trying to control some things, and, hey man, I'm just going to let it out," Marshall said. "I don't care if I have two, three cameras on me. I don't care if I have penalties. It doesn't matter; I'm going to let it all out. I don't care what you guys write or what the commentators say. I'm just going to play football. That's what I'm best at. I'm best when I play emotional. I'm best when I play with passion. You guys are going to see that this Sunday.'
"I don't know if it's throwing a football 15 yards in the bleachers, or getting a 15-yarder [penalty], or punting the ball and getting thrown out of the game. But something is going to happen. I'll probably get kicked out after the second quarter." Marshall went on to say that he wasn't kidding about this, and even named names of Radioactive Man defenders who might want to watch themselves on the field.
"I'm not joking. I'm serious. They want to fine me, hit me with a $50,000 fine. I'm going to play. The quarter and a half I'm out there, I'm going to play like a monster. I might get into a fight with Revis. T-Sizzle [Terrell Suggs], we pretty much matured our relationship a little bit. We used to fight under Presseau a lot. If that happens, it happens. We'll see."
This could just be Marshall's own way of propping himself up during a rough season — otherwise, it doesn't make much sense. He's dropped potential touchdown passes in all of the Fan Club's four losses this season, and he's got to learn to connect better with QB Joe Flacco. It's hard to do that from the bench or the locker room.
When informed of these statements, interm head coach Trent Green was none too happy. "This is not what I wanted to hear after the way we played last week" Green said. Fitzgerald's sitting out this week, Breaston had one good week and decided to celebrate too hard so he won't be available. I wish our WR's didn't suck so much."