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Breaking News: Wopat Head Coach has Nervous Breakdown

COOTER COUNTY - Tom Wopat Fan Club head coach Pool reportedly had a nervous breakdown and apparently has checked himself into a local mental facility. Pool appeared more aggitated than usual at his weekly press conference in which no one attended. He ended up screaming about being disprespected by fellow coaches, reporters, fans and even team owner William Clay Haas. Haas was reached for comment but he was too busy laughing at the recent portrayal Coach Young played of Pool during his weekly video statements.


"It was funny, what can I say?" Haas later said. "Young made a mockery of our entire organization but as far as I know he nailed everything to perfection. Especially the gay stuff."


Haas also said since there wasn't enough time to find a suitable replacement for this weekend's tilt against the Ex-Cons, Ron Dayne will once again step in and coach the team. Dayne refused to comment on this development, as he was too busy trying to perfect his latest drink recepe involving Purplesaurus Rex Kool-Aid and Jagermeister. "I call it the Purple Headed Warrior, yo" Dayne said.


09-30-2011

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