BigPerv Presser 11-1-05
*CEO J.D. Young takes the stage.*
JDY: Coach Young wanted to be here with you today to express how BigPerv lost to *shudders* the Tom Wopat Fan Club. However he is being questioned down in Charlotte on what exactly he knows about Daunte Culpepper's "sprained right knee." We are confident that Coach Young had nothing to do with this incident. However the Charlotte Police Department after reading last weeks press conference just wanted to have a talk with him.
As you know we lost to Coach Pool for the first time. Now as you all know his team plays dirty. Now, I'm not saying that they had anything to do with the reaggravation of Hines Ward's Hamstring or am I say they The Wopat Club paid off the referees to look the other way. All I'm saying is I would like to congratulate Coach Pool and his club a hard fought victory.
I'll now entertain your questions, Frank
FJ: Sir, from the various replays it really did look like Zach Thomas used what seemed to be something like a steal-rod to the knee of Mr. Ward, I'm sure you saw the tape, how can you stand there and say there was no foul play??
JDY: After Coach Young and our lawyers reviewed the tape and they could not find conclusive proof of the assault you mentioned. Oddly enough the footage the lawyers received was that of Drew's touchdown pass. Yes, Jake?
JJ: You mentioned that Coach Young is now in Charlotte being questioned about what happened to Daunte, seeing how Coach Young was losing to Coach Pool's team at the time, how exactly does the CPD draw the connection to this incident?
JDY: That's something you'll have to ask them. But I just want to reiterate that we believe that Completely innocent. Next Question... Sally.
SN: Now that Coach Young seems to be himself again, how do I become the halftime reporter?
JDY: haha, Well Sally, from what I've heard there has been a spike in requests to cover BigPerv's halftime. But I'll just leave that up to Coach Young. It's a hard decision, but I'm sure he'll come at the conclusion, I mean, come to a conclusion.
Thanks for coming out.