BigPerv Post-Game Presser 10-03-2005
CEO J.D. Young: I'll just jump right into questions ... Yes, John...
John: Sir, Coach Young's team seems to be improving week after week, but again they fall short. Do you think it's time for the front office to step in?
JDY: As I said in the start of the season, I'm giving Coach Young as much room as he needs. AS you saw, he made many defensive changes over the last week, which helped keep us in the game yesterday.
John: Follow up question, how come Coach Young hasn't done a post-game since his phallic pointing a few weeks ago?
JDY: Coach Young has a lot on his mind. He hasn't even done a halftime interview, because he keeps having to make too many halftime adjustments. Frank... go ahead...
Frank: Speaking of Coach Young's .. um.. little coach, is he going to put pants back on?
JDY: I don't think so. Jason, what's your question?
Jason: Could you get him to put his pants back on?
JDY: Well I thought about it, but, we are getting better rating with the 17-23 , 24-36, and 37-45 women demographic then anyone else in the league, so, no, no I will not be asking him to put his pants back on. Yes, Jane...
Jane: I heard you let Michael Brown go last week? Is this true, and if so, why?
JDY: I don't know if you noticed last week, but Marlette was under 8 foot of water. It was Mr. Brown's job to make sure that our players had everything they needed. Well... he failed. Our team as a whole was dehydrated, hungry, and were not evacuated like they should have been. Mr. Brown knew how bad this Hurricane was going to be yet he didn't do enough to prepare for our teams safety...
*Just as JDY finishes saying that, Daunte walked into the room obviously very drunk*
DC: You... it..it.. it's yourfaultbecause you hate black... black peep... people.
*Daunte passes out onto the podium which breaks under his weight*
JDY: *ahem* As I was trying to say, we here at YCS are first and foremost looking out for our teams well being. Jake.. you are next.
Jake: Sir... if that's true, what about what we just witnessed...
JDY: What? Oh... well... Daunte is only on our team until we can find a replacement. I haven't seen a QB this crappy ... you know besides Joey Ballgame. Yes, Amanda ...
Amanda Sux: Justin *blushes*, excuse me J.D., It sure looks like Coach Young has got plenty of time before and after the game to hang out at strip clubs, bars, and dance clubs, yet he can't find the time to call me ... err ... to answer ... um... answer team related questions... care to comment?
JDY: Amanda, as I'm sure you are aware of, this isn't the time to air such things, I'm sure when he finds the time he will comment on recent events *wink*
That is all for today ladies and gents. Amanda, if you come with me, I'll give you the answer you seek.